c.i.f. prices to London and explaining our discounts which we think you
will find very generous and which we hope will take full advantage of.
We are always available to offer you further information about our
products and can promise you personal attention whenever you require
it. This service is given to all our customers throughout the world,
and as you probably know, we deal with countries from the Far East to
Europe and Latin America., and this fact alone bears out our reputation
which has been established for more than a hundred years and has made
our motto a household world - Time for Everyone.
Once again may we thank you for your enquiry and say that we look
forward to hearing from you in the near future?
Yours sincerely,
There are a number of things wrong with a letter of this sort. Though
it tries to advertise the products and the company itself, it is too wordy.
There is no need to explain that stores or shops are stocking for
Christmas; the customer is aware of this. Rather than draw attention to
certain items the customer might be interested in, the letter only explains
what the customer can already see, that there is a wide selection of
watches in the catalogue covering the full range of market prices.
In addition, the writer goes on unnecessarily to explain which
countries the firm sells to, the history of company and its rather
unimpressive motto.
2. Too short
Dear Sir,
Thank you for your enquiry. We have a wide selection of watches
which we are sure you will like. We will be sending a catalogue soon.
Yours faithfully,
There are number of points missing from this letter, quite apart from
the fact that, since the writer knew the name of his correspondent he
should have begun the letter Dear Mr Arrand and ended Yours sincerely.
There is no reference to the date or reference number of the enquiry.
Catalogues should be have sent with a reply to the enquiry; it is
annoying for a customer to have to wait for further information to be sent.
Even if a catalogue is sent, the customer's attention should be drawn to
particular items that would interest him/her in the line of business.
He/she might be concerned with the upper or lower end of the market. He
might want moderately priced items, or expensive ones.
3. The right length
Here is a letter that is more suitable:
Dear Mr Arrand, Thank you for your enquiry of 5 November.
We have enclosed our winter catalogue and price-list giving details of
c.i.f. London prices, discounts and delivery dates.
Though you will see we offer a wide selection of watches, may we draw
your attention to pp. 23-28, and pp. 31-37 in our catalogue, which we
think might suit the market you are dealing with? And on page 34 you
will notice our latest designs in pendant watches, which are becoming
fashionable for both men and women.
As you are probably aware, all our products are fully guaranteed and
backed by our world-wide reputation.
If there is any further information you require, please contact us.
Meanwhile, we look forward to hearing from you soon.
Let's sum up the basic rules concerning the letter length.
The letter should be neither too long nor too short. It is better to
include too much information than too little. Your reader cannot read your
mind. If you leave out vital information, he won't know what he wants to
know, unless he writes back again and he may not bother to do that.
If you include extra information, at least he'll have what he wants,
even though he may irritated by having to read the unnecessary parts.
Provided, of course, that you include the vital information as well as the
extras: the worst letter of all is the one that gives very piece of
information about the product, except for the price.
Order and sequence
As well as containing the right amount of information, the letter
should also make all the necessary points in a logical sequence, with each
idea or piece of information linking up with the previous one in a pattern
that can be followed. Do not jump around making a statement, switching to
other subjects, then referring back to the point you made a few sentences
or paragraphs before.
1. Unclear sequence
Consider this badly-written letter. There is no clear sequence to the
letter, which makes it difficult to understand.
We are interested in your security system. We would like to know
more about the prices and discounts you offer.
A business associate of ours, DMS (Wholesalers) Ltd., mentioned
your name to us and showed us a catalogue. They were impressed with the
security system you installed for them, so we are writing to you about
it. Do you give us guarantees with the installations?
In your catalogue we saw the 'Secure 15' which looks as though it
might suit our purposes. DMD had the 'Secure 18' installed, but as we
mentioned, they are wholesalers, while we are a chain of stores. We
would like something that can prevent robbery and shoplifting, so the
'Secure 15' might suit us.
How long would it take to install a system that would serve all
departments? Could you send us an inspector or adviser to see us at
some time?
If you can offer competitive prices and guarantees we would put
your system in all our outlets, but initially we would only install the
system in our main branch.
We would like to make a decision on this soon, so we would
appreciate an early reply.
2.Clear sequence
Here is a better version of the same letter, in which the ideas and
information are in logical order.
Dear Mr. Jerry,
We are a chain of retail stores and are looking for an efficient
security system. You were recommended to us by our associates DMS
(Wholesalers) Ltd. for whom you recently installed an alarms system,
the 'Secure 18'.
We need an installation which would give us comprehensive
protection against robbery and shoplifting throughout all departments;
and the' Secure 15' featured in your catalogue appears to suit us.
However, if one of your representatives could come along to see us, he
would probably be able to give us more advice and details of the
available systems.
Initially, we will test your system in our main branch, and if
successful, then extend it throughout our other branches, but of course
a competitive quotation and full guarantees for maintenance and service
would be necessary.
Please reply as soon as possible as we would like to make a
decision within the next few months. Thank you
Paragraphs
1. First paragraph
The first sentence or paragraph of a letter is an important one since it
gets the tone of the letter and gives your reader his first impression of
you and your company. Generally speaking, in the first paragraph you will
thank your correspondent for his letter (if replying to an enquiry),
introduce yourself and your company if necessary, state the subject of the
letter, and set out the purpose of the letter. Here are two examples:
Thank you for your enquiry dated 8 July in which you asked us about
our range of cosmetics. As you have probably seen in our advertisements
in fashion magazines, we appeal to a wide age-group from the teenage
market trough to more mature women, with our products being retailed in
leading stores throughout the world.
Thank you for your letter of 19 August which I received today. We
can certainly supply you with the industrial floor coverings you asked
about, and enclosed you will find a catalogue illustrating our wide
range of products, which are used in factories and offices throughout
the world.
2. Middle paragraphs
This is the main part of your letter and will concern the points that need
to be made, answers you wish to give, or questions you want to ask. As this
can vary widely with the type of letter that you are writing, it is dwelt
in other parts of my diploma work.
It is in the middle paragraphs of a letter that planning is most
important, to make sure that your points are made clearly, fully and in
logical sequence.
3. Final paragraph
When closing the letter, you should thank the person for writing, if your
letter is a reply and if you have not done this at the beginning. Encourage
further enquiries or correspondence, and mention that you look forward to
hearing from your correspondent soon. You may also wish to restate , very
briefly, one or two the most important of the points you have made in the
main part of the letter. Here are some examples:
Once again thank you for writing to us, and please contact us if
you would like any further information. To go briefly over the points I
have made - all prices are quoted c.i.f. Yokahama; delivery would be
six weeks from receipt of order; and payment should be made by bank
draft. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
I hope I have covered all the questions you asked, but please
contact me if there are any other details you require. May I just point
out that the summer season will soon be with us, so please place an
order as soon as possible so that it can be met in good time for when
the season starts. I hope to hear from you in the near future.
We are sure that you have made the right choice in choosing this
particular line as it is proving to be a leading seller. If there is
any advice or further information you want, we shall be happy to supply
it, and look forward to hearing from you.
3. Rules and manners for writing a business letter
. Main steps
. Technical layout of letter
. A letter's style
Writing an effective business letter is an important skill for every
manager and business owner.In this brief overview we will examine the five
main steps in creating an effective business letter.
Main Steps:
1.Identify your Aims:
Clearly establish what you want to achieve from the letter- whether it is
to win back a dissatisfied customer or to reprimand an employee.Whatever
the aim, create your letter from these goals.
2. Establish the facts:
Make sure you have the relevant accurate facts available. For a late
payer,this might include relevant invoices, complaint forms, talks with
your sales department and any previous correspondence from the customer.
3. Know the recipient of the letter:
Write in the language of your recipient. Try to put yourself in the
position of the recipient. Read it from his point of view. Is the letter
clear or open to misinterpretation. If you know the recipient, use this
knowledge to phrase the letter to generate your desired response.
4. Create a sample Copy:
Having established your aims, amassed the relevant facts with a conscious
view of the recipient- write down the main points of your letter.
5. Decide on Physical layout of letter.
The physical appearance of a letter consists of the paper and the envelope.
The first thing a recipient sees is the envelope. It is essential that it
is of suitable quality with the name and address spelt correctly.Quality
envelopes and paper suggest a professional company. It is wise to make
sure the envelope matches the size of the paper.While you will use 81/2 x
11 inches(A4 size) sized paper for the majority of letters - a 4 x 6
inches(A5) can be used for specific shorter letters.But insist that
properly sized envelopes are used for this A5 size paper,allowing you
maintain and convey an coordinated image.
Technical layout of letter:
1.Letterhead:
This will include your company's name, address, telephone number, fax
number and email address. Include your web address if available. Other
information may be required depending on the legal status of your business
formation.Contact your legal adviser for exact details.
2. Name and address:
Always include the recipient's name, address and postage code. Add job
title if approriate. Double check that you have the correct spelling of the
recipient 's name .
3.Date:
Always date your letters.Never abbreviate January to Jan. 31.
4.Reference:
These are optional.They are a good idea if you have a large volume of
correspondence.These day modern word processors made this an easy task to
complete and maintain.
5.Salutations:
The type of salutation depends on your relationship with the recipient.
Always try to personalise letter thus avoiding the dear sir/madam
situation.
6.Subject matter:
Again this is optional, but its inclusion can help the recipient in dealing
successfully with the aims of your letter. Normally the subject sentence is
preceded with the word Re: It should be placed one line below the greeting.
7.Communication:
This will contain a number of paragraphs, each paragraph dealing with one
point and one point only.
8.Signature:
The signature should be clear and legible-showing you are interested in the
letter and consequently the recipient.Your signature should also be
followed underneath by a typed version of your name and your job title.
9.Enclosures:
If you include other material in the letter, put 'Enclosure','Enc', or'
Encs', as appropriate, two lines below the last entry.
A letter's style:
Previously we created the main points of our letter, now we must transform
this into a final version.To do this, four main considerations are
necessary.
1.Format:
There are three main formats: blocked, semi-blocked and indented.
The former has all entries tight against the left -hand margin.The semi-
blocked format sets the references and the date to the right margin for
filing and retrieval purposes, with the remaining entries placed against
the left margin.
The indented format follows the same layout as either of the above, but
indents each paragraph by five or six spaces.
2.Prose:
Clarity of communication is the primary goal. Don't use technical jargon if
the recipient is unlikely to understand it. Short sentences are less likely
to be misunderstood or misinterperted. Be precise , don't ramble. Check
each sentence to see if it is relevant.Does it add to the point ?
3. Manner:
Always try to personalise your letters. Always try to be civil and friendly
even if the subject matter is stern and sensitive.Give the impression to
the recipient that some effort and thought has gone into the letter.
4. Accuracy:
Once the final version of the letter has been created, polish it off with a
final spelling and punctuation check.
Letter writing etiquette
Always make sure you start and end your letters correctly. If you are
writing to Mrs Jane Smith then you should start the letter 'Dear Mrs Smith'
and finish it with 'Yours sincerely' - N.B. 'sincerely' does not start with
a capital 'S'.
Particular care is required when you are writing to a woman. If she has
just written her name as Jane Smith do you start the letter 'Dear Jane' or
'Dear Ms Smith'. She might be offended if you refer to her as 'Ms' and you
might not feel comfortable writing 'Dear Jane' as it sounds too familiar.
To get round this problem all you have to do is ring the company and ask
them how she likes to be addressed. If there is not a telephone number for
the company in the advertisement just call Directory Enquires (dial 192 in
the UK). When you ring the company all you have to say is that you are
writing to Jane Smith and you would like to know whether she is a Ms, Mrs
or Miss so your letter can be correctly addressed.
If the advertisement just says reply to J. Smith how would you address the
letter? Dear Sir? or Dear Madam? Dear Mr Smith? You would be well advised
to ring the company and find out J. Smith's full name and title
(Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss). Remember politeness costs you nothing, but it can really
pay dividends and you will probably be the only person who has bothered to
find out. This may distinguish you from everyone else who applied - being
noticed is the key to writing a potential interview-winning covering
letter.
If the advertisement just says write to the Personnel Department or reply
to Box Number 55 it may not be possible for you to find out who will be
handling your reply. In these cases you will have to start your letter
'Dear Sir/Madam' and finish the letter with 'Yours faithfully'. Please note
that 'faithfully' does not start with a capital 'F'.
Striking the Right Tone
An underlying goal of most business letters you write is to
promote goodwill between you and your reader. Especially when writing to
someone for the first time, you should use a tone that will encourage that
person to listen to you and want to work with you now and in the future
If your letter is primarily informational or contains good news, a
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